(Source: weheartit.com, via colorfullyinsane)

foodopia:

lamb exohiko, lamb, spinach, and cheese stuffed phyllo parcels: recipe here

ramirezdahmerbundy:

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

• Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

• Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

• When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

• If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

• Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

• Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

• Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

• Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

• Do not harm little children.

• Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

• When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

bonesy-dekay:

ascottkeller:

doctor-lucky:

wellthatsjustgreat:

At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:

• No Pulp
• With Pulp
• MORE Pulp
• LOADED With Pulp

They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:

• Loaded With Even More Pulp
• Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
• Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
• Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
• Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
• I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
• Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
• No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
• An Orange

Ag

*bows eloquently*

PFFFF…

This is one of the first things I ever reblogged once I started getting really into Tumblr last October! I thought it was hilarious.

(Source: formido, via thrill3d)

(via shelikessexncomics)

(via brandonhasleft)

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via the-absolute-best-gifs)

boxlunches:

dicksantorum-2012:

boxlunches:

communismkills:

ignorantatheist:

communismkills:

I am a feminist because I admit men are superior to me!

I am not as productive as men, so I believe the government should mandate companies to pay me the same as men!

I do not have the same aptitude to perform a given job as a man, so I believe the government should instill affirmative action programs to make sure I have an edge over men!

You need feminism because your face is fucking hit

Where’s the “don’t attack people for their appearance” liberal brigade?

When you wrongfully attack people for their physical appearance like you did with the women in those slut walks and constantly bash liberals, when you prove from the get-go that you can’t have a proper, intelligent debate without name calling and bigoted remarks, yeah, you’re not going to get the liberal sympathy that you want. It’s still wrong to stoop to insulting your appearance, just as it was wrong for me to draw that picture of you (although honestly I could have done way, way worse), but you’ve angered and hurt a lot of people and so they are going to say to hell with their morals and bite back.

And you are so far beyond redemption that no one is going to stick up for you when this happens. Stop acting like you’ve done nothing to deserve this. It’s a lot like how you insist that there’s racism against white people, when honestly a lot of it is just retaliation from the disenfranchised because white people have treated them horribly.

I’d don’t care to insult your looks too much CK— even though you’ve made a point to do so to others and totally deserve it— but you’re definitely an asshat on the inside. Such inner dickery is far worse than being “ugly.” It really shows with how you treat others.

Here, have some “fanart,” by yours truly. 

OMGAW. That fanart, haaaaahahahaha. I love you now so much more than I already did. At first I was like, “Wuh? This is just a normal - ” And then it moved. And I screeched. CK: demonic lizard entity in a smug, cross-eyed wrapper. She could be a cameo in the next Men in Black movie.

Wait… isn’t she a slut-shamer? Then why the fuck are her tits out?! You fucking slut, you.

weirdsociology:

emilianadarling:

Laci Green (at her Tumblr or her Youtube channel) discussing the myth of the hymen. Click here to watch the whole video. (x)

The more you know, ladies and gentlemen and fancy genderbeings, the more you know.

God, I love her. I don’t understand how so many sex myths, like this one, are still out there. For this reason, I will be educating my children at a young age about sex.

(via lacigreen)

(via the-absolute-best-gifs)

These look especially yummy today.

(Source: n0thingbutdead, via fuckmenumb)

(via laugh-addict)

imperativa:

colinandhisbowtie:

Me: Mom… there’s something I need to tell you.
Mom: You’re Chinese… we know.
Me: Wha?
Mom: You think I didn’t know when you scaled that tree and soared onto that building to save that child that you were… different.
Me:…
Mom: Or when you wore that robe to your graduation ceremony?
Me: …
Mom: Or when —
Me: How long?
Mom: Since I found half-eaten eggrolls and Samurai Swords under your bed when you were eight. You really think those things polished themselves. Blood eats through steal son.
Me: …
Mom: I accept you my Chinese son. 
Me: 謝謝。 

oh my god.

I have lost all abilities to can’t or even.

(Source: equiuszahhak, via alexgoesplaces)

(Source: pieceslost, via headdownhopeshigh)